N is for "No!"

When we were two years old, we didn't hesitate to say the "N" word. Why is it that as we age we hesitate or, even worse, become incapable of...saying "no?"

It's understandable that we want people to like us, approve of us, invites to their parties, speak kindly of us, etc. But refusing to say "no" for those reasons is a form of reverse blackmail. We allow other people and the opinions we expect them to have to control how we behave.

In the past, I've assumed too much responsibility or agreed to do things I didn't really have time for because I didn't want to disappoint someone else. In the end, I wound up shortchanging myself in the time department and, sometimes, in other ways.

Two years ago, I decided to (as my mother would say) turn over a new leaf. My New Year's resolution for 2010 was to "take care of myself." That goal turned out be a bit too vague. So, in 2011, my New Year's resolution is to "be selfish and put myself first." That doesn't mean I'm totally inconsiderate or rude. (says me) But when making decisions: I think of myself first and make decisions more based on what I want than what I think other people want or what they actually do want.

I'm finding myself assuming fewer responsibilities these days and the ones I do assume are much more enjoyable--and I'm not finding myself stretched for time to attend to them.

Can you say "no?" Can you say "no" easily? Care to share some tips?